Mathilda came to us this past fall feeling lackluster and haggard. Her complexion was caked with foundation and the dregs of fluorescent blush. Too many long days at the office. Too many bottles of wine, too many Lean Cuisines with their evil bechamel sauce bubbling over. As a result, her skin was suffering. “I’m starting to feel like a cushion,” she told us in a whisper, her strapless dress swirling around in the tub, “Can you see it?”
To start, we studied key skincare factors like wrinkle depth, skin texture, and extent of makeup smearing. Our assessment: a classic case of skin ennui. Symptoms of skin ennui may include puffiness, dullness, flaking, redness and an increased hatred of mirrors. Affected subjects are often enticed by infomercials promising a “quick fix” and listless walks through Duane Reade.
Mathilda’s damage was notable, but not irreversible (this just in: it never is). Our prognosis led us to prescribe a powerful but simple regiment: our Golden Face Scrub to buff off the wear and tear, our Peptide and Gotu Kola Eye Gel, which reduces puffiness and doesn’t smear when makeup is applied over it, a liberal application of our Transform Serum to restore the skin’s original radiance, and our award-nominated Radiance Face Cream for its ultra nourishing and hydrating properties. Take a warm bath with French sea salt, we suggested to Mathilda. Put something good on the stereo. Not Enya, Mathilda, put on something that makes you feel alive. We prescribed our Calming Mist and a lavender eye pillow to soothe Mathilda’s frazzled nerves (we’re all recovering from holidays, after all). Go outside, Mathilda. Breathe in the air. Let it sting your face a little. Now go look yourself in the eye in the mirror.
Mathilda has since been seen looking radiant, dosing her martinis with astragalus tincture, practicing mindfulness on the back porch and dabbling in the art of nut cheeses. She replaced her Sephora lipstick with LUK’s Cherry Plum lip color. She’s been caught using the word “glowy.” When no one’s looking, she still climbs into the tub in her strapless dress.